Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beppe
!
Beppe who ?
Beppe Le Pew !
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Jokes number : 64
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bellows
!
Bellows who ?
Bellows me some money can I have it please !
Who's there !
Bellows
!
Bellows who ?
Bellows me some money can I have it please !
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Jokes number : 54
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Becka
!
Becka who ?
Becka the bus is the best place to sit !
Who's there !
Becka
!
Becka who ?
Becka the bus is the best place to sit !
Jokes number : 51
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beaver E
!
Beaver E who ?
Beaver E quiet and nobody will find us !
Who's there !
Beaver E
!
Beaver E who ?
Beaver E quiet and nobody will find us !
Jokes number : 47
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bashful
!
Bashful who ?
I can't tell you, I'm so embarrassed !
Who's there !
Bashful
!
Bashful who ?
I can't tell you, I'm so embarrassed !
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Jokes number : 38
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Barbara
!
Barbara who ?
Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...!
Who's there !
Barbara
!
Barbara who ?
Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...!
Jokes number : 37
Knock Knock
Who's there
!
Bar-B-Q!
Bar-B-Q who ?
Bar-B-Q-t, but I think you're even cuter !
Who's there
!
Bar-B-Q!
Bar-B-Q who ?
Bar-B-Q-t, but I think you're even cuter !
Jokes number : 36
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Baloney
!
Baloney who ?
Baloney chase you if you're a matador !
Who's there !
Baloney
!
Baloney who ?
Baloney chase you if you're a matador !
Jokes number : 32
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Baby Owl
!
Baby Owl who ?
Baby Owl see you later, maybe I won't !
Who's there !
Baby Owl
!
Baby Owl who ?
Baby Owl see you later, maybe I won't !
Monday, March 26, 2012
Jokes number : 30
Knock Knock
Who's there !
B-4
!
B-4 who ?
B-4 I freeze to death, please open this door !
Who's there !
B-4
!
B-4 who ?
B-4 I freeze to death, please open this door !
Jokes number : 26
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Avery
!
Avery who ?
Avery time I come to your house we go through this
!
Who's there !
Avery
!
Avery who ?
Avery time I come to your house we go through this
!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Jokes number : 22
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Athena
!
Athena who ?
Athena reindeer landing on your roof !
Who's there !
Athena
!
Athena who ?
Athena reindeer landing on your roof !
Jokes number : 17
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Artichoke
!
Artichoke who !
Artichoke when he swallowed his yo-yo !
Who's there !
Artichoke
!
Artichoke who !
Artichoke when he swallowed his yo-yo !
Jokes number : 16
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Arthur
!
Arthur who !
Arthene you in the butchers, haven't I ?
Who's there !
Arthur
!
Arthur who !
Arthene you in the butchers, haven't I ?
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Jokes number : 14
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Arnold
!
Arnold who ?
Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine !
Who's there !
Arnold
!
Arnold who ?
Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine !
Jokes number : 10
Knock Knock
Who's there
!
Armageddon !
Armageddon who ?
Armageddon getting out of here !
Who's there
!
Armageddon !
Armageddon who ?
Armageddon getting out of here !
Jokes number : 9
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Arizona
!
Arizona who ?
Arizona room for one of us in this town !
Who's there !
Arizona
!
Arizona who ?
Arizona room for one of us in this town !
Friday, March 23, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Jokes number : 21
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Agatha
!
Agatha who ?
Agatha headache. Do you have an aspirin ?
Who's there !
Agatha
!
Agatha who ?
Agatha headache. Do you have an aspirin ?
Monday, March 12, 2012
Jokes number : 16
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Adelia
!
Adelia who ?
Adelia the cards after you cut the pack !
Who's there !
Adelia
!
Adelia who ?
Adelia the cards after you cut the pack !
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Jokes number : 5
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping
pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ?
A lid !
pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ?
A lid !
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Jokes number : 94
What should you do if you are on a picnic
with
King Kong?
Give him the biggest bananas.
with
King Kong?
Give him the biggest bananas.
Jokes number : 92
What would you get if you crossed King Kong
with a
skunk?
I don't know but it could always get a seat on a
bus!
with a
skunk?
I don't know but it could always get a seat on a
bus!
Jokes number : 90
If King Kong came to England why would he
live in the Tower of London?
Because he's a beef-eater.
live in the Tower of London?
Because he's a beef-eater.
Jokes number : 88
Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of
his feet brown?
So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut
butter.
his feet brown?
So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut
butter.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Jokes number : 86
What's brown and furry on the inside and
clear on the
outside?
King Kong in clingfilm
clear on the
outside?
King Kong in clingfilm
Jokes number : 82
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play
ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.
ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.
Jokes number : 80
What's big and hairy and climbs up the
Empire State Building in a dress?
Queen Kong.
Empire State Building in a dress?
Queen Kong.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Jokes number : 78
What did the judge say when a skunk entered the
courtroom?
Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!
courtroom?
Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!
Jokes number : 77
Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to
the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or you can choose to
have a jury of your peers."
The man thought for a moment. "What
are peers?" he asked.
"They're people just like you your
equals."
"Forget it," retorted the defendant. "I don't want to be tried by a
bunch of thieves."
the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or you can choose to
have a jury of your peers."
The man thought for a moment. "What
are peers?" he asked.
"They're people just like you your
equals."
"Forget it," retorted the defendant. "I don't want to be tried by a
bunch of thieves."
Jokes number : 76
It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too
much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him.
The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the
other
car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble. I'm a
lawyer!"
The driver looked out his window and said, "No, you're in trouble.
I'm a judge."
much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him.
The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the
other
car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble. I'm a
lawyer!"
The driver looked out his window and said, "No, you're in trouble.
I'm a judge."
Jokes number : 75
A red-faced judge convened court
after a
long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk
driving
who claimed it simply wasn't true.
"I'm as sober as you are,
your honor," the man claimed.
The judge replied, "Clerk, please
enter a guilty plea. The defendant
is sentenced to 30 days."
after a
long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk
driving
who claimed it simply wasn't true.
"I'm as sober as you are,
your honor," the man claimed.
The judge replied, "Clerk, please
enter a guilty plea. The defendant
is sentenced to 30 days."
Jokes number : 72
At night court, a man was brought in and set
before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
Jokes number : 71
A lawyer passed on and
found himself in
Heaven,
but not at all happy with his accommodations.
He complained
to St. Peter, who told him that his
only recourse was to appeal his
assignment. The
lawyer immediately advised that he intended
to
appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting
at least three years
before his appeal could be
heard. The lawyer protested that a
three-year wait
was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf
ears.
The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who
told him that he
would be able to arrange an appeal
to be heard in a few days, if the
lawyer was willing
to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why
can
appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?"
The devil answered: "We
have all of the judges."
found himself in
Heaven,
but not at all happy with his accommodations.
He complained
to St. Peter, who told him that his
only recourse was to appeal his
assignment. The
lawyer immediately advised that he intended
to
appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting
at least three years
before his appeal could be
heard. The lawyer protested that a
three-year wait
was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf
ears.
The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who
told him that he
would be able to arrange an appeal
to be heard in a few days, if the
lawyer was willing
to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why
can
appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?"
The devil answered: "We
have all of the judges."
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Jokes number : 70
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve
as a juror in
this
case?
Juror: I don't want to be away
from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at
work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
as a juror in
this
case?
Juror: I don't want to be away
from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at
work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
Jokes number : 69
Judge to witness: "And where was the location of
the
accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost
499."
Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway
between milepost 498 and milepost
500."
the
accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost
499."
Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway
between milepost 498 and milepost
500."
Jokes number : 68
Mr. Schneider stood up in court.
"As God is
my judge, I do not owe my
ex-wife any money."
Glaring down at
him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You
do."
"As God is
my judge, I do not owe my
ex-wife any money."
Glaring down at
him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You
do."
Jokes number : 67
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged
with a
traffic violation said
she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the
bench. "Madam, I have
waited years for a schoolteacher to appear
before this court," he
smiled
with delight. "Now sit down at that
table and write 'I will not pass
through
a red light' five
hundred times."
with a
traffic violation said
she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the
bench. "Madam, I have
waited years for a schoolteacher to appear
before this court," he
smiled
with delight. "Now sit down at that
table and write 'I will not pass
through
a red light' five
hundred times."
Jokes number : 66
How many judges does it take to
change a
light bulb?
Just one; he holds it still and the whole world revolves
around him.
Just one, but two lawyers have to explain him how to do
it.
change a
light bulb?
Just one; he holds it still and the whole world revolves
around him.
Just one, but two lawyers have to explain him how to do
it.
Jokes number : 65
Jury: Twelve men and women
trying to decide
which party has the best lawyer.
Justice: A decision in your
favor.
trying to decide
which party has the best lawyer.
Justice: A decision in your
favor.
Jokes number : 64
Judge: Doctor, how
many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
Jokes number : 63
Judge: What is your
relationship with the
plaintiff?
A: She is my daughter.
Judge: Was she your daughter on
February 13, 1979?
relationship with the
plaintiff?
A: She is my daughter.
Judge: Was she your daughter on
February 13, 1979?
Monday, March 5, 2012
Jokes number : 62
Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to
the basement, is that correct?
A: Yes.
Judge: And these same
stairs, did the also go up?
the basement, is that correct?
A: Yes.
Judge: And these same
stairs, did the also go up?
Jokes number : 61
Judge: Your first marriage
was terminated by
death?
A: Yes, by death.
Judge: And by whose death was it
terminated?
was terminated by
death?
A: Yes, by death.
Judge: And by whose death was it
terminated?
Jokes number : 60
Judge: Are you married?
A. No, I'm
divorced.
Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A.
A lot of things I didn't know about.
A. No, I'm
divorced.
Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A.
A lot of things I didn't know about.
Jokes number : 59
Judge: All your responses to the questions must
be
oral. Do you understand?
A: Yes
Judge: What school did you
attend in the fall of 1995?
A: Oral.
be
oral. Do you understand?
A: Yes
Judge: What school did you
attend in the fall of 1995?
A: Oral.
Jokes number : 58
Prosecutor: Did you kill the
victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for
perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better
than the
penalty for murder.
victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for
perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better
than the
penalty for murder.
Jokes number : 57
A prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a
young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and
talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot
when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was
stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
the room and
asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She
again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a
youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,
too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted,
he has a
drinking problem. The man can't build a normal
relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the
entire state. Yes,
I know him."
At this point, the judge
rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the
bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
"If either of you
asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for
contempt!"
a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a
young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and
talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot
when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was
stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
the room and
asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She
again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a
youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,
too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted,
he has a
drinking problem. The man can't build a normal
relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the
entire state. Yes,
I know him."
At this point, the judge
rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the
bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
"If either of you
asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for
contempt!"
Jokes number : 56
A
young woman was appearing in court to face
a public disorder charge. The
charges were read out, and she was
asked how she pleaded. "Not
guilty," the woman answered
emphatically.
The prosecution council then approached the woman and said: "Is
it
true that on the 11th of December, last year, you committed an
act of
gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf - who was waving a
union jack - on
the roof of a car, whilst travelling at over 100mph
through the center
of London, in a blizzard?"
The woman
composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council
and calmly
said: "What was the date again?"
young woman was appearing in court to face
a public disorder charge. The
charges were read out, and she was
asked how she pleaded. "Not
guilty," the woman answered
emphatically.
The prosecution council then approached the woman and said: "Is
it
true that on the 11th of December, last year, you committed an
act of
gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf - who was waving a
union jack - on
the roof of a car, whilst travelling at over 100mph
through the center
of London, in a blizzard?"
The woman
composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council
and calmly
said: "What was the date again?"
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Jokes number : 54
Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a
thousand
dollars?"
Defendant: "Yes, it's true."
Judge:
"Then, why don't you just pay him back?"
Defendant: "Because it
wouldn't be true anymore."
thousand
dollars?"
Defendant: "Yes, it's true."
Judge:
"Then, why don't you just pay him back?"
Defendant: "Because it
wouldn't be true anymore."
Jokes number : 53
The judge said to
his dentist: "Pull my
tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the
tooth."
his dentist: "Pull my
tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the
tooth."
Jokes number : 52
The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do
you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?"
"I do."
"Now what do you say to
defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations...
nothing."
you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?"
"I do."
"Now what do you say to
defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations...
nothing."
Jokes number : 51
Q: How many editors does it take to change
a lightbulb?
A: It was supposed to be in place last week!
a lightbulb?
A: It was supposed to be in place last week!
Jokes number : 50
Q: How many publishers does it take to
change a
lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold
down the
editor.
change a
lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold
down the
editor.
Jokes number : 49
Who do you think was sent to cover the
story of the baby lion born in the
zoo? A cub reporter.
story of the baby lion born in the
zoo? A cub reporter.
Jokes number : 48
An honest weatherman says, "Today's
forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm
wrong."
forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm
wrong."
Jokes number : 47
A weather forecaster took a job in another
part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The
weather didn't agree with me."
part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The
weather didn't agree with me."
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Jokes number : 46
What do you get if you cross a radio music
presenter
with Match of the Day ?
DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !
presenter
with Match of the Day ?
DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !
Jokes number : 42
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of
the window?
He wanted to see a butterfly.
the window?
He wanted to see a butterfly.
Jokes number : 41
Q: How many
journalists does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired
government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a
diabolical government plot to
deprive the poor of darkness, and one
to win a pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a
lightbulb assassin to break the bulb
in the first place.
journalists does it take to
screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired
government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a
diabolical government plot to
deprive the poor of darkness, and one
to win a pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a
lightbulb assassin to break the bulb
in the first place.
Jokes number : 40
Reporter: What made you
go out on that
dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?
Boy Hero: I
had to do it. He had my skates on.
go out on that
dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?
Boy Hero: I
had to do it. He had my skates on.
Jokes number : 39
Reporter: To
what do you attribute your
old age?
Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.
what do you attribute your
old age?
Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Jokes number : 38
Reporter: My editor sent
me to do the
burglary.
Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
me to do the
burglary.
Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
Jokes number : 37
A woman telephoned her local newspaper to
let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children.
The
reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you
repeat
that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.
let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children.
The
reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you
repeat
that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.
Jokes number : 36
A
journalist assigned to the Jerusalem
bureau takes an
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day
when she
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.
So
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.
She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you
done that and what are you praying for?"
The old man replies,
"I have come here to pray every day for 25
years. In the morning I
pray for world peace and then for the
brotherhood of man. I go home
have a cup of tea and I come
back and pray for the eradication of
illness and disease from
the earth."
The journalist is
amazed. "How does it make you feel to come
here every day for 25 years
and pray for these things?" she
asks.
The old man looks at her
sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."
journalist assigned to the Jerusalem
bureau takes an
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day
when she
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.
So
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.
She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you
done that and what are you praying for?"
The old man replies,
"I have come here to pray every day for 25
years. In the morning I
pray for world peace and then for the
brotherhood of man. I go home
have a cup of tea and I come
back and pray for the eradication of
illness and disease from
the earth."
The journalist is
amazed. "How does it make you feel to come
here every day for 25 years
and pray for these things?" she
asks.
The old man looks at her
sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."
Jokes number : 35
How many editors does it take to change a
light
bulb?
Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire
building.
light
bulb?
Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire
building.
Jokes number : 34
How many computer journalists does it take
to screw in a light
bulb?
Five. One to write a review of all the
existing light bulbs so you can
decide which one to buy, another
one to write a remarkably similar one
in another magazine the next
month, a third to have a big one come out
on glossy paper two months
later that is by then completely out of
date, a fourth to hint in
her column that a completely new and updated bulb
is coming out, and
the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is
shipping with a
virus.
to screw in a light
bulb?
Five. One to write a review of all the
existing light bulbs so you can
decide which one to buy, another
one to write a remarkably similar one
in another magazine the next
month, a third to have a big one come out
on glossy paper two months
later that is by then completely out of
date, a fourth to hint in
her column that a completely new and updated bulb
is coming out, and
the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is
shipping with a
virus.
Jokes number : 33
How many
journalists does it take to
change a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change
them." Three. One to
report it as an inspired government program to
bring light to the people,
one to report it as a diabolical government
plot to deprive the poor of
darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer
prize for reporting that Electric
Company hired a light bulb assassin
to break the bulb in the first
place.
journalists does it take to
change a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change
them." Three. One to
report it as an inspired government program to
bring light to the people,
one to report it as a diabolical government
plot to deprive the poor of
darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer
prize for reporting that Electric
Company hired a light bulb assassin
to break the bulb in the first
place.
Jokes number : 32
How many journalists does it take to change
a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change
them."
a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change
them."
Jokes number : 31
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a
stack of
papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people
swindled! Fifty people
swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought
a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said,
"There's nothing in here about fifty
people being
swindled."
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it.
Fifty-one people swindled!"
stack of
papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people
swindled! Fifty people
swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought
a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said,
"There's nothing in here about fifty
people being
swindled."
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it.
Fifty-one people swindled!"
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Jokes number : 30
A film crew was on location deep in the
desert. One day an old
Indian went up to the director and said,
"Tomorrow rain." The next day
it rained. A week later, the Indian went up
to the director and said,
"Tomorrow storm." The next day there was
a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He
told his secretary
to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several
successful predictions, the old Indian didn't
show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to
shoot a big scene tomorrow,"
said the director, "and I'm depending
on you. What will the weather
be like?"
The Indian shrugged
his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is
broken."
desert. One day an old
Indian went up to the director and said,
"Tomorrow rain." The next day
it rained. A week later, the Indian went up
to the director and said,
"Tomorrow storm." The next day there was
a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He
told his secretary
to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several
successful predictions, the old Indian didn't
show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to
shoot a big scene tomorrow,"
said the director, "and I'm depending
on you. What will the weather
be like?"
The Indian shrugged
his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is
broken."
Jokes number : 29
A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital
and tells the desk
nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to
see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he
says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the
eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear
doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says:
"Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would
you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one
thing and seeing
another."
and tells the desk
nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to
see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he
says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the
eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear
doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says:
"Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would
you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one
thing and seeing
another."
Jokes number : 28
A shy guy goes into a bar and
sees a
beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up
his
courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would
you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she
responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I
won't sleep with you
tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally,
the guy is
hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back
to his table. After
a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and
apologizes. She smiles
at him and says, "I'm sorry if I
embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
journalist and I've got an assignment to
study how people respond to
embarrassing situations."
To which
he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean
$200?"
sees a
beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up
his
courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would
you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she
responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I
won't sleep with you
tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally,
the guy is
hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back
to his table. After
a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and
apologizes. She smiles
at him and says, "I'm sorry if I
embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
journalist and I've got an assignment to
study how people respond to
embarrassing situations."
To which
he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean
$200?"
Jokes number : 27
George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac
river on foot.
The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the
Potomac River".
The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach
saves taxpayers a
boat".
Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".
river on foot.
The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the
Potomac River".
The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach
saves taxpayers a
boat".
Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".
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