A doctor is going round the ward with
a nurse and they
come to the first bed where the chap is laying
half dead.
"Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks
the
doctor.
"Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight
tablets every two
hours!"
At the next bed the next patient also
appears half dead.
"Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every
twelve hours?"
"Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour,"
replies the nurse.
Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well
and truly deceased,
not an ounce of life. "Nurse," asks the doctor,
"did you prick his
boil?"
"OH MY GOODNESS!" replies the
nurse.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Jokes number : 29
A nurse was
showing some student
nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most
hazardous
section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are
almost
well."
showing some student
nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most
hazardous
section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are
almost
well."
Jokes number : 26
Three nurses went to heaven, and were
awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the
pearly
gates.
The first nurse said, "I worked in an
emergency room. We tried our
best to help patients, even though
occasionally we did lose one. I think I
deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter
looks at her file and admits her
to heaven.
The second nurse
says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very
high stress
environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are
too sick and
we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter
looks at her
file and admits her to heaven.
The third nurse says, "I was a
case manager for an HMO."
St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls
out a calculator and starts
punching away at it furiously, constantly
going back to the nurse's file.
After a few minutes St. Peter
looks up, smiles, and says,
"Congratulations! You've been admi
tted to heaven ... for five days!"
Harry was in the
hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the
young nurse came in
and said in a patronising tone, "And how are we doing
this
morning?"
Well, this is a story of revenge. Harry had received
breakfast, and
pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He
had been given
a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You
know where the
juice went.
The nurse came in, picked up the
urine bottle and said, "It seems we
are a little cloudy today..."
At this, Harry snatched the bottle out of
her hand, drinked its
contents, saying, "Well, I'll run it through
again, maybe I can filter
it better this time."
awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the
pearly
gates.
The first nurse said, "I worked in an
emergency room. We tried our
best to help patients, even though
occasionally we did lose one. I think I
deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter
looks at her file and admits her
to heaven.
The second nurse
says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very
high stress
environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are
too sick and
we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter
looks at her
file and admits her to heaven.
The third nurse says, "I was a
case manager for an HMO."
St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls
out a calculator and starts
punching away at it furiously, constantly
going back to the nurse's file.
After a few minutes St. Peter
looks up, smiles, and says,
"Congratulations! You've been admi
tted to heaven ... for five days!"
Harry was in the
hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the
young nurse came in
and said in a patronising tone, "And how are we doing
this
morning?"
Well, this is a story of revenge. Harry had received
breakfast, and
pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He
had been given
a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You
know where the
juice went.
The nurse came in, picked up the
urine bottle and said, "It seems we
are a little cloudy today..."
At this, Harry snatched the bottle out of
her hand, drinked its
contents, saying, "Well, I'll run it through
again, maybe I can filter
it better this time."
Jokes number : 24
A doctor and a nurse were
called
to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people
to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big
building with a lot of doctors, but that's not
important now!
called
to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people
to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big
building with a lot of doctors, but that's not
important now!
Jokes number : 23
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the
waiting
room with a glass eye named Brown.
Doctor: What does
he call his other eye?
waiting
room with a glass eye named Brown.
Doctor: What does
he call his other eye?
Monday, May 30, 2011
Jokes number : 22
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little
girl
doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No
change yet.
girl
doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No
change yet.
Jokes number : 21
Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My
son, John, swallowed the can opener!
Doctor: Don't panic. He'll
be alright.
Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The
toast is getting
cold!
son, John, swallowed the can opener!
Doctor: Don't panic. He'll
be alright.
Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The
toast is getting
cold!
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