How many journalists does it take to change
a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change
them."
Friday, March 2, 2012
Jokes number : 31
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a
stack of
papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people
swindled! Fifty people
swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought
a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said,
"There's nothing in here about fifty
people being
swindled."
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it.
Fifty-one people swindled!"
stack of
papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people
swindled! Fifty people
swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought
a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said,
"There's nothing in here about fifty
people being
swindled."
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it.
Fifty-one people swindled!"
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Jokes number : 30
A film crew was on location deep in the
desert. One day an old
Indian went up to the director and said,
"Tomorrow rain." The next day
it rained. A week later, the Indian went up
to the director and said,
"Tomorrow storm." The next day there was
a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He
told his secretary
to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several
successful predictions, the old Indian didn't
show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to
shoot a big scene tomorrow,"
said the director, "and I'm depending
on you. What will the weather
be like?"
The Indian shrugged
his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is
broken."
desert. One day an old
Indian went up to the director and said,
"Tomorrow rain." The next day
it rained. A week later, the Indian went up
to the director and said,
"Tomorrow storm." The next day there was
a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He
told his secretary
to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several
successful predictions, the old Indian didn't
show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to
shoot a big scene tomorrow,"
said the director, "and I'm depending
on you. What will the weather
be like?"
The Indian shrugged
his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is
broken."
Jokes number : 29
A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital
and tells the desk
nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to
see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he
says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the
eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear
doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says:
"Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would
you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one
thing and seeing
another."
and tells the desk
nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to
see someone else?"
"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he
says.
"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the
eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear
doctor."
No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear
doctor."
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says:
"Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would
you want to see him?"
"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one
thing and seeing
another."
Jokes number : 28
A shy guy goes into a bar and
sees a
beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up
his
courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would
you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she
responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I
won't sleep with you
tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally,
the guy is
hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back
to his table. After
a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and
apologizes. She smiles
at him and says, "I'm sorry if I
embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
journalist and I've got an assignment to
study how people respond to
embarrassing situations."
To which
he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean
$200?"
sees a
beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up
his
courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would
you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she
responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I
won't sleep with you
tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally,
the guy is
hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back
to his table. After
a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and
apologizes. She smiles
at him and says, "I'm sorry if I
embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
journalist and I've got an assignment to
study how people respond to
embarrassing situations."
To which
he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean
$200?"
Jokes number : 27
George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac
river on foot.
The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the
Potomac River".
The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach
saves taxpayers a
boat".
Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".
river on foot.
The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the
Potomac River".
The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach
saves taxpayers a
boat".
Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)