Q: Why did the blonde have
a
hysterectomy?
A: She wanted to stop having grandchildren.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Jokes number : 91
Q: Why did the blonde make love in the
microwave?
A: She wanted to have a baby in 9 minutes.
microwave?
A: She wanted to have a baby in 9 minutes.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Jokes number : 88
Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his
girlfriend. "Every time we make love," she said, "I get splinters."
So
Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for
advice.
"Sandpaper," said the carpenter. "That's what you need." So
Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks
later the
carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. "How are you
getting on with the
girls now?" he asked. "Who needs girls?" said
Pinocchio.
girlfriend. "Every time we make love," she said, "I get splinters."
So
Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for
advice.
"Sandpaper," said the carpenter. "That's what you need." So
Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks
later the
carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. "How are you
getting on with the
girls now?" he asked. "Who needs girls?" said
Pinocchio.
Jokes number : 87
A woman
went to the doctor and complained
that she was suffering from I knee
pains. "Do you indulge in any
activity that puts a lot of pressure on
your knees?" asked the doctor.
"Every night, my husband and I have sex
on the floor doggy style."
"I see," said the doctor. "You know,
there are plenty of other
sexual positions?" "Not if you want to watch
TV there ain't!"
went to the doctor and complained
that she was suffering from I knee
pains. "Do you indulge in any
activity that puts a lot of pressure on
your knees?" asked the doctor.
"Every night, my husband and I have sex
on the floor doggy style."
"I see," said the doctor. "You know,
there are plenty of other
sexual positions?" "Not if you want to watch
TV there ain't!"
Jokes number : 86
A truck driver was going down a steep incline
when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple
having sex
in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he
sounded his
horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck'
to a halt
inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed:
"What the hell's
the matter with you two?.Didn't you hear me? You
could have been
killed!" The man replied nonchalantly: "Listen, I
was coming, she was
coming, and you were coming. You were the only
one with brakes."
when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple
having sex
in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he
sounded his
horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck'
to a halt
inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed:
"What the hell's
the matter with you two?.Didn't you hear me? You
could have been
killed!" The man replied nonchalantly: "Listen, I
was coming, she was
coming, and you were coming. You were the only
one with brakes."
Jokes number : 85
A male market researcher was calling on homes on
behalf of Vaseline. A woman answered the door."Do you use
Vaseline?"
asked the researcher. "Certainly," she said. "It's very good for
cuts, grazes and burns." "And what about anything else?" he asked.
"Like what?" He became embarrassed. "Well, sex, maybe." Oh, of
course." she said. "I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my
husband
out."
behalf of Vaseline. A woman answered the door."Do you use
Vaseline?"
asked the researcher. "Certainly," she said. "It's very good for
cuts, grazes and burns." "And what about anything else?" he asked.
"Like what?" He became embarrassed. "Well, sex, maybe." Oh, of
course." she said. "I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my
husband
out."
Jokes number : 84
A couple
decided that the only way to have a
quickie while their ten-year- old
son was in the apartment was to
send him out on the balcony and let him
give a running report on
what was going on in the neighbourhood. So the
boy stood on the
balcony and reported on everything that was happening.
"A police car has
just called at the Hamiltons' house, the Chandlers
are taking
delivery of a new wardrobe, and the Mitchell's are having
sex."
Hearing this, the boy's parents shot bolt upright. "How do you
know the
Mitchells are having sex?" "Because their kid is standing on
the
balcony too."
decided that the only way to have a
quickie while their ten-year- old
son was in the apartment was to
send him out on the balcony and let him
give a running report on
what was going on in the neighbourhood. So the
boy stood on the
balcony and reported on everything that was happening.
"A police car has
just called at the Hamiltons' house, the Chandlers
are taking
delivery of a new wardrobe, and the Mitchell's are having
sex."
Hearing this, the boy's parents shot bolt upright. "How do you
know the
Mitchells are having sex?" "Because their kid is standing on
the
balcony too."
Jokes number : 83
Why is the space between a
woman's breasts
and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another
pair of tits in there.
woman's breasts
and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another
pair of tits in there.
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