Jokes number : 84

What's the difference between a

schoolteacher and a train driver?
A schoolteacher says, "Spit out that
toffee" and a train says,
"Choo, choo."

Jokes number : 83

Why is it not safe to doze on trains?

Because they run over sleepers.

Jokes number : 82

How did the woman feel when she got run
over by a
car?
Tired.

Jokes number : 81

A passenger train is creeping along,
slowly. Finally it creaks to a
halt. A passenger sees a conductor
walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the
window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes
later, the train resumes its slow pace.

Within five minutes,
however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk
again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch
up
with the cow again?"

Jokes number : 80

A motorist ran into a shop.
"Do you
own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the
manager.
"Oh dear," said the motorist, "I must have run over a
nun."

Jokes number : 79

My sister's a really bad driver.

What makes you say that?
Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts
a glass panel in the floor
so that she can see who she's run
over.

Jokes number : 78

You know all that talk about backseat

driving?

Well, I've been driving all my life and can safely
say that I've
never heard a word from the back seat.

What
kind of car do you drive?

A hearse!

Jokes number : 77

A man whose son had just passed his
driving
test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven
slap into
the living room. "How did you manage to do that?" he fumed.
"Quite
simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned
left!"

Jokes number : 76

"Take the wheel, Harry!" said the
nervous lady driver. "There's a tree
coming straight for us!"

Jokes number : 75

Learner driver: What happens when

everything's coming your way? Instructor: You're in the wrong

lane.