Who is the most popular
wizard on the
Internet?
Har e-potter.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Jokes number : 21
Which of the seven dwarfs use the
Internet?
Happ-e, Sleep-e, Grump-e, Dope-e and Sneez-e.
Internet?
Happ-e, Sleep-e, Grump-e, Dope-e and Sneez-e.
Jokes number : 18
What do you get if you cross an elephant with
the
Internet?
I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.
the
Internet?
I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Jokes number : 10
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet
on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.
on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.
Jokes number : 8
What do you get if you type
www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer?
A sore finger.
www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer?
A sore finger.
Jokes number : 7
PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball
straight at the school computer?
Pupil: You told me to put it in the
Net.
straight at the school computer?
Pupil: You told me to put it in the
Net.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Jokes number : 90
Have you seen www.pitchdark.com?
Yes, but
I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.
Yes, but
I really couldn't see what all the fuss is about.
Jokes number : 85
Have you heard that there's a new
mountain website?
Really? I must take a peak at it!
mountain website?
Really? I must take a peak at it!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Jokes number : 78
Do you like
surfing the net?
Oh yes,
I've really taken a shine to it. (Moon to Sun)
surfing the net?
Oh yes,
I've really taken a shine to it. (Moon to Sun)
Jokes number : 75
Why couldn't the baby camel
surf the
Internet?
Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got
the hump.
surf the
Internet?
Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got
the hump.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Jokes number : 69
What's hairy, dangerous and only surfs the
Net when there's a full moon?
The www.erewolf.
Net when there's a full moon?
The www.erewolf.
Jokes number : 67
What happened when the schoool bully went
netsurfing?
The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.
netsurfing?
The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Jokes number : 66
Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting
round playing on the Internet, you'll be fat and useless when you
grow
up.
Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you
were a
kid!
round playing on the Internet, you'll be fat and useless when you
grow
up.
Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you
were a
kid!
Jokes number : 65
My dog likes to sit down each evening and
surf the
Net.
What an intelligent animal!
Not really, it took
the cat three weeks to teach him.
surf the
Net.
What an intelligent animal!
Not really, it took
the cat three weeks to teach him.
Jokes number : 62
I spent the whole evening
knotsurfing!
Don't you mean netsurfing?
No, everyone was complaining because I tied
the computer up for
ages!
knotsurfing!
Don't you mean netsurfing?
No, everyone was complaining because I tied
the computer up for
ages!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Jokes number : 53
What did the maths homework website say to
the
geometry website?
Boy do we have problems.
the
geometry website?
Boy do we have problems.
Jokes number : 51
Our website should have more colour, more
games, more sound!
Look, what more do you want? Blood?
games, more sound!
Look, what more do you want? Blood?
Monday, February 20, 2012
Jokes number : 50
If doors
have a website shouldn't
windows have one too?
We'd better, or it will be curtains for us.
have a website shouldn't
windows have one too?
We'd better, or it will be curtains for us.
Jokes number : 49
I can't find a shark website....
That's
cos you're dum dum, dum dum, dum dum, dumb......
That's
cos you're dum dum, dum dum, dum dum, dumb......
Jokes number : 45
Did you know pillows
have their own
website?
Really? Well you could knock me down with a feather!
have their own
website?
Really? Well you could knock me down with a feather!
Jokes number : 44
What did the sausage say when it
couldn't log on to the Internet?
If at first you don't succeed Fry, Fry
again
couldn't log on to the Internet?
If at first you don't succeed Fry, Fry
again
Jokes number : 43
What did the parrot say when he was using the
Internet?
P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.
Internet?
P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Jokes number : 38
What did you say to the policeman who spent
eight hours on the Internet?
Oh give it arrest.
eight hours on the Internet?
Oh give it arrest.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Jokes number : 31
Why did the mummy stop using the
Internet?
He was getting far too wrapped up in it.
Internet?
He was getting far too wrapped up in it.
Jokes number : 29
Teacher: Why are you pushing
garlic into
the computer's disk drive?
Pupil: To keep vampires off the
Internet
Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet
Pupil:
See? It works, doesn't it?
garlic into
the computer's disk drive?
Pupil: To keep vampires off the
Internet
Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet
Pupil:
See? It works, doesn't it?
Friday, February 17, 2012
Jokes number : 25
Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the
Internet?
Because they can't stop saving their work.
Internet?
Because they can't stop saving their work.
Jokes number : 23
What do you call someone who spends 24 hours
a day on the Internet?
Anything you like, they're not listening to
you anyway.
a day on the Internet?
Anything you like, they're not listening to
you anyway.
Jokes number : 22
Teacher: What are the four
elements?
Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet.
Teacher: What do you mean the
Internet?
Pupil: Well, Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net, I'm
in my
element.
elements?
Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet.
Teacher: What do you mean the
Internet?
Pupil: Well, Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net, I'm
in my
element.
Jokes number : 21
Teacher: Don't forget to check the Internet
if you have trouble with your homework questions.
Pupil: It's
not the questions I have trouble with, it's the
answers.
if you have trouble with your homework questions.
Pupil: It's
not the questions I have trouble with, it's the
answers.
Jokes number : 20
So what exactly can I learn on the
Internet?
Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk like an
Indian.
How?
See? It's working already.
Internet?
Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk like an
Indian.
How?
See? It's working already.
Jokes number : 19
Since you've discovered the Internet, you
don't pay any attention to
me!
Who said that?
don't pay any attention to
me!
Who said that?
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Jokes number : 18
I use the internet
to tell me what the
weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and
if it gets wet, I know it's
raining!
to tell me what the
weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and
if it gets wet, I know it's
raining!
Jokes number : 17
I
see you've got your bill for using the
Internet
Yes, and my dad's really going to get the hump!
see you've got your bill for using the
Internet
Yes, and my dad's really going to get the hump!
Jokes number : 16
I never thought that the Internet was very
useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one
works better then the one you had before.
useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one
works better then the one you had before.
Jokes number : 15
I hope you're not one of those
pupils
who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise.
Oh, no,
miss, I often sit around watching TV and not getting exercise
either.
pupils
who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise.
Oh, no,
miss, I often sit around watching TV and not getting exercise
either.
Jokes number : 14
I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on
the internet...
Yes - and it's a mammoth task!
the internet...
Yes - and it's a mammoth task!
Jokes number : 11
Does your mum like shopping on the
Internet?
No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
Internet?
No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Jokes number : 10
One ant was running across an unopened box of
crackers and urging another to speed up. "But why do we have to
hurry?"
said one. "Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the
dotted
line'".
crackers and urging another to speed up. "But why do we have to
hurry?"
said one. "Can you read, you nut! It says, Tear along the
dotted
line'".
Jokes number : 8
Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he
stepped on an ant?
A: "Dead ant, Dead Ant ... Dead ant, Dead Ant ..
Dead Ant"
(to the tune of Pink Panther theme).
stepped on an ant?
A: "Dead ant, Dead Ant ... Dead ant, Dead Ant ..
Dead Ant"
(to the tune of Pink Panther theme).
Jokes number : 6
A mother moth was telling her baby moth off
saying, "If you don't eat all your cotton, you won't get any
satin."
saying, "If you don't eat all your cotton, you won't get any
satin."
Jokes number : 5
Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw
a
drunken man.
One said to the other, "You bite him ? I'm
driving."
a
drunken man.
One said to the other, "You bite him ? I'm
driving."
Jokes number : 4
What did one mosquito say to
another when
they came out of the cinema?
Fancy a bite?
another when
they came out of the cinema?
Fancy a bite?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Jokes number : 2
Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one
mosquito?
Because an itch in time saves nine.
mosquito?
Because an itch in time saves nine.
Jokes number : 96
A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a
saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up
from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, "OK, who moved my
dog?"
saloon, drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up
from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, "OK, who moved my
dog?"
Monday, February 13, 2012
Jokes number : 94
What do you get if you cross a moth with a
firefly?
An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.
firefly?
An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.
Jokes number : 92
Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder
what stops it from falling down.
Owner: I think the woodworm are
holding hands.
what stops it from falling down.
Owner: I think the woodworm are
holding hands.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Jokes number : 84
Boy: What's the biggest ant in the
world?
Girl: My Aunt
Boy: No, it's an elephant.
Girl: You
obviously haven't met my Aunt
world?
Girl: My Aunt
Boy: No, it's an elephant.
Girl: You
obviously haven't met my Aunt
Jokes number : 83
First Caribou:
What well-known cartoon
character do moths like a hole lot?
Second Caribou: Micky Moth!
What well-known cartoon
character do moths like a hole lot?
Second Caribou: Micky Moth!
Jokes number : 82
What is the difference between a flea bitten
dog and a
bored visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is
itching to go !
dog and a
bored visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is
itching to go !
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Jokes number : 78
What did the wife spider say to her
husband
when he tried to explain why he was late ?
Your spinning me a yarn
here !
husband
when he tried to explain why he was late ?
Your spinning me a yarn
here !
Jokes number : 75
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as
horses ?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !
horses ?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !
Jokes number : 73
What do you get if you cross a spider and an
elephant ?
I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the
ceiling then run
before it collapses !
elephant ?
I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the
ceiling then run
before it collapses !
Friday, February 10, 2012
Jokes number : 68
What did the spider say to the fly ?
We're
getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?
We're
getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?
Jokes number : 63
What do you get if you cross a
tarantula
with a rose ?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it !
tarantula
with a rose ?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it !
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Jokes number : 62
What happened when the chef found a daddy long
legs in the
salad ?
It became a daddy short legs !
legs in the
salad ?
It became a daddy short legs !
Jokes number : 57
What do you get if you cross a worm
and an
elephant ?
Very big worm holes in your garden !
and an
elephant ?
Very big worm holes in your garden !
Jokes number : 56
What did the worm say to the other when he was
late home ?
Where in earth have you been !
late home ?
Where in earth have you been !
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Jokes number : 52
What did the maggot say to another ?
What's
a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !
What's
a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Jokes number : 46
How can you tell which end of a worm is which
?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !
?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !
Jokes number : 45
Why didn't the two worms get on
Noah's
Ark in an apple ?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
Noah's
Ark in an apple ?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
Jokes number : 44
What did the maggot say to his friend when he
got stuck
in an apple ?
Worm your way out of that one !
got stuck
in an apple ?
Worm your way out of that one !
Jokes number : 41
Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?
Because
they are always earwigging their conversations !
Because
they are always earwigging their conversations !
Monday, February 6, 2012
Jokes number : 36
What did one centipede say to the other
centipede ?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely
pair of
legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely
pair of
legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely
pair of legs
....!
centipede ?
You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely
pair of
legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely
pair of
legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely
pair of legs
....!
Jokes number : 35
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a
chicken ?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
chicken ?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
Jokes number : 34
Why was the centipede late ?
Because he was
playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother
!
Because he was
playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother
!
Jokes number : 31
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect
football team ?
He took too long to put his boots on !
football team ?
He took too long to put his boots on !
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Jokes number : 25
How do stones
stop moths eating your
clothes ?
Because rolling stones gather no moths !
stop moths eating your
clothes ?
Because rolling stones gather no moths !
Jokes number : 24
What do you get if you cross a firefly
and
a moth ?
An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !
and
a moth ?
An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Jokes number : 17
What is the difference between a
mosquito
and a fly ?
Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !
mosquito
and a fly ?
Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !
Jokes number : 16
How do you know if you have a tough mosquito
?
You slap him and he slaps you back !
?
You slap him and he slaps you back !
Friday, February 3, 2012
Jokes number : 10
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you
know which one is the American Football player ?
The one in the
sugar bowl !
know which one is the American Football player ?
The one in the
sugar bowl !
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Jokes number : 4
Why did the firefly keep stealing things
?
What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
A firefly with a short circuit
!
?
What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
A firefly with a short circuit
!
Jokes number : 2
What is the difference between a flea bitten
dog and a bored
visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is
itching to go !
dog and a bored
visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is
itching to go !
Jokes number : 100
What is the most faithful
insect ?
A
flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them !
insect ?
A
flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them !
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Jokes number : 98
What did one flea say
to the other after a
night out ?
Shall we walk home or take a dog ?
to the other after a
night out ?
Shall we walk home or take a dog ?
Jokes number : 97
Two fleas where running across the top of a
cereal
packet ?
"Why are we running so fast ?" said one
Because
it says "Tear along the dotted line"
cereal
packet ?
"Why are we running so fast ?" said one
Because
it says "Tear along the dotted line"
Jokes number : 96
Who rode a dog and was a confederate general
during the American Civil War ?
Robert E Flea !
during the American Civil War ?
Robert E Flea !
Jokes number : 93
What is the difference between a flea and a
wolf
?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie
!
wolf
?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie
!
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