Janet: What's the
difference between a cake
and a school bus ?
Jill: I don't know.
Janet: I'm glad I didn't
send you to pick up my birthday cake !
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Jokes number : 33
'Is everyone in the bus?' asked the
driver
before he closed the door.
'No,' called a lady, 'wait until I
get my clothes on.'
All the passengers in the bus turned
towards the door to look at the
woman. She got on with a bag full of
laundry.
driver
before he closed the door.
'No,' called a lady, 'wait until I
get my clothes on.'
All the passengers in the bus turned
towards the door to look at the
woman. She got on with a bag full of
laundry.
Jokes number : 30
Do buses and trains run on time?
Usually, yes.
No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the
tracks.
Usually, yes.
No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the
tracks.
Jokes number : 28
Have you
heard that all the buses and trains
are stopping today?
No. Is there a strike?
No, they're stopping
to let the passengers off.
heard that all the buses and trains
are stopping today?
No. Is there a strike?
No, they're stopping
to let the passengers off.
Jokes number : 27
Conductor, this bus
was very slow!
Oh, I
expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!
was very slow!
Oh, I
expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Jokes number : 26
Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but
didn't
hurt yourself?
Yes - I was trying to get to the back of the
bus.
didn't
hurt yourself?
Yes - I was trying to get to the back of the
bus.
Jokes number : 25
Sam left work after a tiring day. 'Take the bus
home,' suggested a friend. 'My mother would only make me take it
back,' Sam said.
home,' suggested a friend. 'My mother would only make me take it
back,' Sam said.
Jokes number : 24
Passenger: Does this bus go to London?
Conductor: No.
Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor:
There's an
advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't
sell them!
Conductor: No.
Passenger: But it says London on the front. Conductor:
There's an
advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't
sell them!
Jokes number : 21
A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was
pushed off by
the people inside. There's no room,' they said. 'It's
full up!'
'But you must let me on!' shouted the man.
'Why,
what's so special about you?' they asked.
I'm the driver,'
replied the man.
pushed off by
the people inside. There's no room,' they said. 'It's
full up!'
'But you must let me on!' shouted the man.
'Why,
what's so special about you?' they asked.
I'm the driver,'
replied the man.
Jokes number : 20
When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting
upstairs or downstairs?
I prefer to ride on top, but it's very
hard getting the horse up the
stairs.
upstairs or downstairs?
I prefer to ride on top, but it's very
hard getting the horse up the
stairs.
Jokes number : 19
As the bus came to the stop, the man
at the
front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and
caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, 'What
on
earth did you do that for?' 'I wanted to know if there was room on
top,' replied the man.
at the
front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and
caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, 'What
on
earth did you do that for?' 'I wanted to know if there was room on
top,' replied the man.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Jokes number : 18
Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York?
Driver: Which part?
Passenger: All of me, of course!
Driver: Which part?
Passenger: All of me, of course!
Jokes number : 16
Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again.
Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late.
Teacher:
Well, if it's late again tomorrow, catch an earlier
one.
Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late.
Teacher:
Well, if it's late again tomorrow, catch an earlier
one.
Jokes number : 15
A man standing at a bus stop was eating a
hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very
excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and
jumping up
at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to
the lady.
"Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the
dog up and
threw it over a wall.
hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very
excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and
jumping up
at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to
the lady.
"Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the
dog up and
threw it over a wall.
Jokes number : 14
What's the
difference between a bus driver
and a cold?
A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the
nose.
difference between a bus driver
and a cold?
A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the
nose.
Jokes number : 13
Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat
woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd
stand
up and let someone else sit down." "And if you were a lady,"
replied
Roger, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down."
woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd
stand
up and let someone else sit down." "And if you were a lady,"
replied
Roger, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down."
Jokes number : 11
What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a
skunk?
I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
skunk?
I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Jokes number : 7
Why is President Carter important to
Hamburger Land in April?
One the opening day of the baseball season, he
throws out the first
meatball!
Hamburger Land in April?
One the opening day of the baseball season, he
throws out the first
meatball!
Jokes number : 6
Why do the hamburgers
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot dogs are the wurst!
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot dogs are the wurst!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Jokes number : 2
Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on
stage?
They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their
prime!
stage?
They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their
prime!
Jokes number : 100
Why do
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they're picklish!
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they're picklish!
Jokes number : 99
Why did the pro football player from the
last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?
He wanted to
know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!
last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?
He wanted to
know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!
Jokes number : 98
Why can any hamburger run the mile in under
four
minutes?
Because it's a FAST food!
four
minutes?
Because it's a FAST food!
Jokes number : 96
Why are hamburgers essential to
football?
Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!
football?
Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Jokes number : 88
Which political discussions between the
Russians
and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?
The SALT
talks!
Russians
and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?
The SALT
talks!
Jokes number : 87
Which people do the
burgers hate?
The
ones who are always putting the bite on them!
burgers hate?
The
ones who are always putting the bite on them!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Jokes number : 86
Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?
Those that
are born under the sign of the Ham!
Those that
are born under the sign of the Ham!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Jokes number : 78
Which baseball team is currently the favourite
with hamburger fans?
The Cincinnati Reds -because they're the
Big Bread Machine!
with hamburger fans?
The Cincinnati Reds -because they're the
Big Bread Machine!
Jokes number : 77
Where does a burger go on vacation?
The
Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
The
Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
Jokes number : 72
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile
button?
When somebody says, 'Well done'!
button?
When somebody says, 'Well done'!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Jokes number : 68
What system do they teach in Hamburger High's
math courses?
The meatric system, silly!
math courses?
The meatric system, silly!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Jokes number : 62
What kind of a pitch
did Sandy Koufax of
the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fastball - a sizzler.
did Sandy Koufax of
the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fastball - a sizzler.
Jokes number : 57
What great song is associated with
hamburgers and baseball?
'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!
hamburgers and baseball?
'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!
Jokes number : 56
What famous movie did the hamburger meat think
of
when they took it out of the freezer?
They Fry Who Cam in
from the Cold!
of
when they took it out of the freezer?
They Fry Who Cam in
from the Cold!
Jokes number : 55
What do you use to determine if a refrigerated
burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!
burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Jokes number : 53
What do they call a meeting among the most
brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!
brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!
Jokes number : 52
What do some people have against
cheeseburgers?
They say, 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'
cheeseburgers?
They say, 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'
Jokes number : 49
What do burgers think when they are
surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are in a pickle.
surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are in a pickle.
Jokes number : 48
What did they tell the burger who enlisted in
the Army?
You've got no beef, soldier!
the Army?
You've got no beef, soldier!
Jokes number : 47
What did they say about the burger who went
skiing
for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!
skiing
for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Jokes number : 45
What did they call it when NHL officials
refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?
Rink
injustice!
refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?
Rink
injustice!
Jokes number : 44
What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who
acted on a TV show?
Welcome back, Cutter!
acted on a TV show?
Welcome back, Cutter!
Jokes number : 42
What did the hamburger say when it found out
that most people
liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?
'Hot
dog!'
that most people
liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?
'Hot
dog!'
Jokes number : 41
What can you say about Ham Burger and
Chief
Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is 'well done' and Chief Justice
Warren Burger has 'done
well'!
Chief
Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is 'well done' and Chief Justice
Warren Burger has 'done
well'!
Jokes number : 40
What are some outstanding hamburger
colleges?
Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer
Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!
colleges?
Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer
Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!
Jokes number : 39
Seriously, when the crooked
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heidelburg-er, Germany!
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heidelburg-er, Germany!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Jokes number : 37
Name two tennis stars who
are famous in the
hamburger world?
Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!
are famous in the
hamburger world?
Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!
Jokes number : 36
Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your
fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately!
fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately!
Jokes number : 35
In what school
subjects does the teacher
say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
A wide range of subjects - meatyeval,
history, meatematics and word
grill.
subjects does the teacher
say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
A wide range of subjects - meatyeval,
history, meatematics and word
grill.
Jokes number : 33
How far do burgers go in school?
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).
Monday, October 18, 2010
Jokes number : 29
How do you make a hamburger green?
Find a
yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
Find a
yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
Jokes number : 26
How do we know that hamburgers love classic
music?
They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and
Cownegie
Hall!
music?
They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and
Cownegie
Hall!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Jokes number : 22
How do the Rolling Stones like their
burgers?
Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!
burgers?
Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!
Jokes number : 19
How can you tell which Burger
Land baseball
pitchers are left-handed?
They're the one's wearing the
left-handed 'meats'!
Land baseball
pitchers are left-handed?
They're the one's wearing the
left-handed 'meats'!
Jokes number : 17
Knock Knock
Who's there
!
Brother !
Brother who ?
Brother-ation, I've forgotten your name
!
Who's there
!
Brother !
Brother who ?
Brother-ation, I've forgotten your name
!
Jokes number : 16
Brother: Which is farther away-
NY City or the moon? Sister: NY City. Why do ask? Brother: Well, I can
see the moon, but I can't see NY City.
NY City or the moon? Sister: NY City. Why do ask? Brother: Well, I can
see the moon, but I can't see NY City.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Jokes number : 13
My sister
wanted to marry a man
clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb
enough to spend it on
her !
wanted to marry a man
clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb
enough to spend it on
her !
Jokes number : 12
How do you know if your little
brother is turning into a fridge ?
See if a little light come on
whenever he opens his mouth !
brother is turning into a fridge ?
See if a little light come on
whenever he opens his mouth !
Jokes number : 11
Mother: Jared, get your little
sister's hat out of that
puddle.
Jared: I can't mum, she's got it
strapped too tight under her
chin!
sister's hat out of that
puddle.
Jared: I can't mum, she's got it
strapped too tight under her
chin!
Jokes number : 10
A little demon came
home from
school one day and said to his mother, 'I hate my sister's
guts.'
'All right,' said his mother, 'I won't put them in your
sandwiches
again.'
home from
school one day and said to his mother, 'I hate my sister's
guts.'
'All right,' said his mother, 'I won't put them in your
sandwiches
again.'
Jokes number : 9
Why did your
sister jump out
the window ?
Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit
sister jump out
the window ?
Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit
Jokes number : 8
Teacher: What's this a
picture
of ?
Class: Don't know, Miss.
Teacher: It's a
kangaroo.
Class: What's a kangaroo, miss ?
Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of
Australia.
Smallest boy: Wow, my sister's married one of them
picture
of ?
Class: Don't know, Miss.
Teacher: It's a
kangaroo.
Class: What's a kangaroo, miss ?
Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of
Australia.
Smallest boy: Wow, my sister's married one of them
Friday, October 15, 2010
Jokes number : 6
Alfie was listening to his
sister practice her singing. ' Sis,' he said, 'I wish you'd sing
Christmas carols.'
'That's nice of you, Alfie,' she replied. 'Why
?'
'Then I'd only have to hear you once a year !'
sister practice her singing. ' Sis,' he said, 'I wish you'd sing
Christmas carols.'
'That's nice of you, Alfie,' she replied. 'Why
?'
'Then I'd only have to hear you once a year !'
Jokes number : 5
Doctor, Doctor! my sister thinks
she's an elevator.
Tell her to come in.
I can't. She doesn't
stop at this floor.
she's an elevator.
Tell her to come in.
I can't. She doesn't
stop at this floor.
Jokes number : 4
Why does your sister have yeast and
shoe polish for breakfast ?
Because she wants to rise and
shine.
shoe polish for breakfast ?
Because she wants to rise and
shine.
Jokes number : 2
Do you like my new baby sister ?
The
stalk bought her.
Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on
her head.
The
stalk bought her.
Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on
her head.
Jokes number : 1
Michael: It's hard for my
sister to eat.
Maureen: Why ?
Michael: She can't bear to stop
talking.
sister to eat.
Maureen: Why ?
Michael: She can't bear to stop
talking.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
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